


So A Princess and a Trickster God Walk Into A Bar...

by ShiroiKabocha



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Crossover Pairings, Drunken Shenanigans, Explicit Language, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-04
Updated: 2014-11-04
Packaged: 2018-02-24 01:29:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2563229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShiroiKabocha/pseuds/ShiroiKabocha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stop me if you've heard this one before.</p>
            </blockquote>





	So A Princess and a Trickster God Walk Into A Bar...

The new guy expects to get a cold drink in this place, and she finds it adorable. He makes a face when the bartender hands him a warm glass of something murky and sour-smelling. He glances from side to side, and the glass frosts over around his hand before he takes a sip. Huh. That’s something new. She’s been waiting for something new.

She slides her glass down the bar and it stops just short of the stool next to the newcomer. Brushing her bangs out of her eyes, she glides over and perches next to him.

“I wouldn’t have pegged you for a waterbender,” she quips, “the way you’re dressed.” He rolls his eyes and turns away. “Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got nothing against dressing out of your element-- I’m more of an autumn myself, but I’ve found that green has a certain universally flattering quality.” She takes her sweet time as her eyes wander down the stranger’s profile and back up again. “That outfit’s pretty sharp.”

His reply is clipped: “I didn’t ask for company.” 

“And yet, I continue to grace you with my presence, out of the goodness of my heart.” She leans on her elbows and frames her smiling face with her hands. “I’m so magnanimous, aren’t I?”

He rubs his temples and sighs. “This drink isn’t nearly strong enough to convince me to keep talking to you.”

“Mm, you’re new,” she says, nodding. “They won’t sell you the good stuff until they’re convinced you’re dangerous enough to deserve it. And even the best, they still won’t serve cold. I’ve given up trying.” She runs a finger around the rim of her glass, and the liquid inside ignites with bright blue fire. “I like it better my way, anyhow.” She knocks back her flaming shot and locks eyes with the stranger. “It’s the only way to purge impurity. Who knows where these glasses have been?”

“You’re still talking. Why are you still talking.”

She waves her arm behind her, taking in the entirety of the dank, dimly lit establishment. “Because everyone else here is boring. You’re not.”

“If everyone here is boring, what makes you think you would be of any interest to me?”

“Because I just broke out of prison, too,” she purrs, “and if you let me buy you a real drink, we can compare notes.”

His back stiffens, and for the first time, he takes a good look at the woman sitting beside him. “How--”

She winks. “I’m a people person.” She holds up two fingers and gestures to the bartender, who pours them two more shots. “Now, are you going to force a lady to drink alone?”

After a moment’s hesitation, he takes the offered drink and nods to his new companion. “You first, then,” he says, the wary edge slowly fading from his voice. “How’d you manage your escape?”

She shrugs and laughs, shaking her head. “Big brothers, bless ‘em. You give them a literal lifetime of reasons to distrust you, and they still hold out hope that maybe _this_ time, things will be different. I swear, I could stab him in the face and he wouldn’t get the message.” 

“Tell me about it!” The newcomer rolls his eyes. “I’ve actively tried to murder at least half the people in my family and I’m still on the invite list for all the weddings. It’s like they’re incapable of learning from past experience.” He raises his glass toward the woman beside him. “To the unrivaled stupidity that is brotherly love,” he says, his mouth barely entertaining the idea of a smile. “May it ever work in our favor.”

She grins, and they clink glasses. “Now there’s something I can drink to.” 

-

“So everything’s great, right? Dad’s outta the picture, it looks like I’ve finally got a solid claim on this throne--”

“ _Finally!_ ”

“Yeah, finally, right? S’about damn time! Anyway, so everything’s great. And then. And _THEN_. Guess who shows up outta nowhere.”

“Omigod, wait, wait, let me guess--your lousy--”

“--my dumbass _brother!_ ”

“Ugh, that is the _worst!_ And lemme guess, he’s talking about all this crap he’s learned about, like, honor and shit, right?”

“ _EXACTLY!_ ‘Blah blah, I went on a camping trip with my new friends and now I’m all enlightened,’ way to go, bro, don’t care, weren’t you supposed to be banished or something?”

“That’s such bullshit.”

“SUCH bullshit. It’s like, finally, I’ve got a good thing going for myself, and he just has to come back and ruin everything for me.”  


“I totally know what you’re going through. It’s the absolute worst. The literal worst.”

“Thank you! I swear, you are the first person I’ve met who understands what I’m talking about.”

“You’re kidding-- you know what’s spooky? I feel the _exact same way._ ”

The bartender stopped trying to clear away the empty glasses piling up around them the second time she set his sleeve on fire, and for the last hour, he’s been keeping a steady, unobtrusive stream of drinks supplied to their table while avoiding the gaze of either drinking companion. It’s safer for everyone if they’re happy and laughing with one another, uninterested in anyone else. The bartender (and several of the bar’s patrons) have learned this the hard way.

Convulsing with laughter, he tilts sideways at a dangerous angle, but she shoots a hand across the table to grab him before he can slip out of his chair. Her eyes light up.

“Hey,” she slurs, yanking him upright, “we should arm wrestle!”

“What?” He struggles to focus on her face. “That’s-- I’m not saying it’s the silliest idea I’ve ever heard, because, you have to understand. I’ve heard a lot of them. But I am saying it’s a top contender.”

“Oh, c’mon, it’ll be fun!” She leans over the table and twines her fingers with his. “Winner’s stupid brother is the one we murder first.”

“Well now you’ve got my attention.” He leans in to meet her, close enough that she can taste the alcohol on his breath. “How do I know you’ll play fair?”

She bats her eyelashes at him. “I won’t cheat if you won’t.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

**Author's Note:**

> It can be assumed that fifteen minutes later, most of the patrons are dead, the building is on fire, and the police are baffled because the only two living witnesses won't stop making out long enough to answer any questions.


End file.
